Saturday, 6 December 2008

And He jumped.....

Today, I made up my mind that I was going to 1. Blog and 2. Study

Thank God I am able to do the first, the verdict is still out on the latter though :-)

To be honest I have LOOONGED to blog. Infact I have blogged tens of times in my mind but I have not found the strength to put fingers to keyboard - I don't know what the problem really is but I won't focus on that now so I don't ramble on and on and on and on......

This is quite a sober piece...

Yesterday, I travelled to a neighbouring city for the evening and was glad when the programme I went for finished earlier than expected. I was happy to jump on the train back home to get to my lovely housemates, facebook and bed (and maybe books.....maybe) when it was announced at the station that the train had been delayed indefinately as a result of a fatal accident.

What happened was that someone had jumped in front of a train in what was most probably a suicidal attempt (of which the person succeded). A lot of commuters who had just had a long day at work and were looking forward to getting home were quite disgruntled to say the least even whilst they sympathised with the poor victim.

Surprisingly (or not), the general attitude of people was more disgruntled than sympathy....

Whilst being delayed for 2 hours, I had time to wonder a bit about the situation. The death of a human being is never a pleasant one, added to the fact when the end comes in such a brutal manner. I used to believe that no one really wants to die, even for christians who know the joy of a better place in heaven, meeting face to face with their father, hence the joke "everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die".

What I wonder is, what compelled this person to want to end it all? Why did he feel the need to take his own life? What could have happened in his life for him to believe that jumping in front of a speeding train was the best way out? Did he not have something to live for - Family, friends?? Had he made a cry for help but no one took him seriously? Why would he voluntarily do that to himself?? Why did he choose that particular exit route? Was he trying to make a statement??

Why were people not moved as such? Has it become normal to commit suicide? Is it just another "unfortunate" incident?

So many questions.... some of which may never get a proper answer.

It's a sad sad thing. The only thing he got out of it probably was the stand-still of rail transport for 2 hours. Sad truth is that he still remains a faceless and nameless statistic even to us who heard about the "incident". I feel sad for the wasted life, the wasted destiny, the wasted opportunity.....I wonder if he heard the saying "Where there's life, there's hope". He probably did, but didn't believe it enough to want to stay alive.

Maybe, he knew that there was something wrong and he genuinely sought help but didn't find anyone to listen. Such a shame.....He could have looked up and said softly "Please help me, I need Your help".
This is also a learning curve for us to be sensitive to people who are down or just miserable...it just might be their cry for help

It's funny how people struggle each day to keep alive whilst somewhere else someone has just wasted one. May God bless his family if he had any and may He always give us the grace to see at least one thing in our lives worth living for.

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

The Headache

Hiya, it's been a most hectic but interesting past couple of weeks for moi

It's soo hard being able to have some "ME" time! Arghhh

I wanna take a long holiday where I would be pampered and waited on hand and foot..........Oh, how I wish....... *sigh*

I sometimes wonder how I would cope when I get into a relationship/married... You see I love being BUSYY and I usually am!! My family and friends have actually started to complain that they hardly see/hear from me......the only people that see my brake-lights are my housemates :-)
After a long day, I just wanna come home and relaaaaaaax, read a book or just chill/sleeeep... I imagine if I had a man, he prolly would want to have the nightly gist which I would be soo loathe to do! I remember when I was with my ex-boyfriend, as much as I LOVED talking to him, there were some nights I would be soo tired, I would just ignore his calls (I felt soo bad but mehn....). He would ring me like 10 times but I would just pretend like it was just noise from the street :-)

That brings me to the question and debate about women who work and how possible/achievable it is to be a successful working woman + successful home-maker, wife and mother!! (Sheesh that is HARDWORK)

Imagine if I feel this way now, how about when I am married and my hussy wants to do more than talk after work?? No wonder women came up with that phrase that men hate to hear "I have a headache".
Imagine coming home after a very busy day at work, children are screaming and scrambling for your attention that they feel they have been unjustly deprived of all day... Worse still if you live in Britain where getting a nanny costs a small fotune. To fulfill the role of good mother, you check their homework, muster up some energy to play around with them, then get them ready for school the next day. Then off you go to perform your wifely duties (that's after you have managed to lay a sumptious dinner)

Please why won't such a woman have a "headache". At that point conjugal duty is prolly the last thing on her mind!
Gosh, women are SUPER-HUMAN!!!!

Thursday, 23 October 2008

MEMORIES...

I'm in my room, listening to slow love songs and going through the archives of my old facebook messages :-) (sent and received). I don't know how I'm feeling- up/down, good/bad.... what I do know is that there is this feeling of melancholy and "what could have been" and "what should be now". It's been going on for the past couple of days. Don't know why but I have been feeling the need to just be on my own and I've been in quite a somber mood....You see the reason why it's particularly unusual is that I am not one to be on my own at ALL...oh yes, I love having people around me ALL the time, I could almost run crazy if I have nothing to do or find myself on my own. But for some reason, right now I feel like withdrawing and spending some "me" time...Oh well, it's only temporary, believe me :-)

Tonight, I've been doing some sort of "soul-searching". Just taking a trip down memory lane..... I remember when I had that caption as my facebook status, someone wrote cheekily on my wall, "hope you come back via third mainland bridge". It was some HOT guy and I think I might have had a little school girl crush on him (old woman like me) so imagine how pleased I was that he commented on my state of mind lol....
Anyways, I was just going through my messages and that particular HOT guy is now a part of that memory trip. As it happened, that wall post was just a start of many more messages as well as night phone calls (you know you don't discuss lecture notes or the weather at that time :-).

When I go through old stuff like old messages and diaries..I smile and sometimes wish I could turn back the hands of time in some circumstances... I read little notes or messages I wrote in the past to that special someone and I long for days gone past.. I remember that special thing he did, how we could keep talking and talking,. How we were such good friends who understood each other so much! Sometimes I wonder what went wrong or in some cases I remember where it all started to go topsy-turvy.

On the other hand, sometimes what jumps out at me are those things I did/said, and now with the fortune of hindsight I wonder why I said/wrote such a thing. Nevertheless there are times when I am actually impressed with what I said/did and I'm like "you actually did/said that!".

The simple act of going through my archives of old messages brings up so many emotions, it's amazing that such a simple act is capable of evoking so MUCH! It's worth it though because as the memories start to form a story in your mind, it's like watching a movie of your life! Better still, it's a time to re-evaluate and re-examine. It gives you the opportunity to stop and analyse areas you could have done better or situations you could have handled better. It also sometimes makes you see loose ends that you probably forgot to tie up or unexplored opportunities that you have forgotten to get back to...... At least I found one or two. Hope to let you know how it all turns out. By God's grace, I hope as usual for the best!!

Wish you the same
xxxx

Sunday, 19 October 2008

LETTING GO 1

One thing I have learnt over the years is that letting go is one of the hardest and most painful things to do in this world! But the sad thing is that like change it is inevitable, you could call it a necesary evil... :-(

It may be letting go of a relationship, a position or even a favourite top! Letting go is quite different from losing something or someone, the latter sometimes may be something good or bad that you may not have control over -and it goes without you having a lot of control in the matter. On the other hand, in letting go, you may have control over it and you may well have to make a conscious effort to do so ( I hope I have been able to convince you and not confuse you...lol).

Personally, I have had to strive/work hand to let things go. It ranges from the serious - emotions/feelings, position, boyfriend.. to the trivial - shoes, clothes etc... As I am sure those who have had to go through this process know, it is not funny business at all!! But it has to be done..

I remember when my first ever serious relationship broke up, it was hell!! Oh my goodness!! I thought I would just die (thinking back I know that was quite drastic :-) but to be honest I understood what those novelist used to say about preferring a physical pain to heart-ache cause at least the physical pain could be seen and would soon be remedied but with your heart it's like you can't see it and there is no solution... lol (I am just a romantic fool! lol). But the breaking up wasn't the hardest part, the letting go process was.....

It was hard letting go the fact that I would go to bed without talking to him (all those looooong phone-calls) I mean, who would I tell all those meaningless nevertheless "news-worthy" events that happened in the day? It was hard letting "my" boyfriend go. Breaking up meant that special bond we had was gone, no more talking to each other with our eyes or a covert gesture in a crowded room. No more hearing that special "my boo" ringtone that I have specially for him (the song won't be the same again). No more special preference with him nor being so close that we were able to exchange passwords to high important accounts like facebook or hi-5 lol!.... These bits are what make letting go very tough after the end of a relationship! Long after the first few weeks of awkwardness (the first few times you see each other again), you are able to put up a "I'm good and alright" face up yet inside you still haven't completely let go......

For a lot of us, we can't turn on/off our emotions like a tap. It takes time to fully completely let go. That's why we usually secretly despise (ok, cannot be friends) with our exes immediate new girl/boyfriend after our exit lol (admit it!!). It's either his/her nose is a bit on the large side or he/she isn't just good enough lol (alright, some people are nice/weird like that and they actually become bff with them :-)

But is this behaviour normal or are we (me and you) a bit out in the head lol....How hard is it for others to let go? Is that why some people would rather stay in a draining relationship, rather than face the harsh reality of a break up?

Well if it is partially normal behaviour :-) then I can only say that one thing that never fails to work or help is God! TRUST ME, when I am in the lowest of lows, I try to remember how special I am with Him even if "he"-the boyfriend doesn't think so at this point lol....or even if I am not feeling it myself!! God does wonderful things to my self esteem!! I definately whole-heartedly recommend that!! :-)

I shall continue in the nearest future...hehe

God bless xx

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

One Fine Day




How goes it? I stumbled upon this write up on someone's hi5 page, it was soo funny, I just have to share it!! (You see, I really do think about you!! :-)

It was just like any other day, the sun shone the same way it had been shining since the beginning of time, the same sound of everyday activity, the same set of people going about the same job, all around me people carried out their mundane tasks, but to me, it was not an ordinary day it was the day I had been waiting for I had longed for a day like this since like forever.

Though I have been greatly anticipating this day, I have mixed feelings about it. Don't get me wrong, I am filled with euphoria, but you know how you get like butterflies in your stomach when such a day comes. You want everything to be perfect, you want none of your plans to fall out of place, and you pray and hope for the best. Anyways, so far so good, nothing seemed out of place. I went to the dry-cleaners to pick up my outfit for tonight.

My lovely dress was ready and waiting for me hanging beautifully just behind the reception desk. I'm sure even the dry-cleaners felt proud at being giving the task to clean such gorgeous attire (it is my most outrageous expense, but worth every penny it cost)
As soon as I got home, I took my time to get ready; my friends kept calling to ask "how I felt", "what was going through my mind", "how envious they were". I only managed to get them off the phone by promising to give them the whole gist of the evening.

Finally, I was ready and good to go. I took a final look at the mirror in the foyer and had to admit to myself that I looked absolutely fabulous (even I have to say so myself).
The assigned chauffeur was waiting patiently for me by the limo, I stepped in gracefully as if I had been riding one all my life (yeah rite).

Walking into the restaurant, I had to struggle to keep my cool cause all I wanted to do at that moment was scream and jump for joy to release the tension in my body.
Then I saw him waiting patiently for me like the gentleman I had heard he was. He was signing on a tissue for a young woman and her daughter, and then he looked up and gave me one of his famous smiles that have been known to drive girls crazy.

I sauntered up to him like a model strutting her stuff on the runway (at least that's how it seemed to me). I could hear him saying "Hello, Boris Kodjoe, but please feel free to call me Boris" I smiled and said "Hi, One plus the One, feel free to call me One plus the one (like duuh!! Why I said that, I am still wondering). We both laughed and I guess that kind of broke the ice, he took my hands and was just about to say something when I heard someone call my name out loud, strangely it sounded very familiar, I thought I was just hearing things when I heard that noise again, then I opened my eyes and saw my mum shouting my name saying,
"ONE look at the time, you are still sleeping!!"

Teehee
God bless xx

P.S I am soo excited/happy/joyous...lol, I just discovered how to attach pictures and videos!! Makes for even more exciting blogging!! hehehe... I just realised I had been getting one tiny part wrong, gosh I am soo bush, God help me! lol.

P.S2 I don't know why but I am so loving Naeto C's "Kini Big deal". Maybe just for the heck of it, I would upload the video- just to show off lol. (I would be doing that also to my previous posts so erhmm expect moreeee...yipee yayo eyyy!!

P.S3 Ok I just tried to upload the video and it's not exactly going according to plan so erhmm please I still need help with uploading videos :-(
Here's the link to the video though

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HJbCOvCRfI

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Oh That's Hot!

How goes it? (that's my new greeting slang-oh well, at least until I get a new and "cooler" one" lol)

You know as a young Christian I find it hard sometimes to mix Christianity and being cool! Don't get me wrong, I don't think for a second that it's boring to be a Christian but sometimes the avenue to be cool is not very "Christian". For example, today I saw an article online and I wasn't sure if it was alright to like it lol... (I did anyway, like it I mean!)

For instance, is it alright to appreciate and make comments about hot guys? Is the word hot/sexy appropriate in describing someone of the opposite sex?? Don't think I'm being extreme, picture this - you're in church, the pastor's son/daughter looks really nice and you're like "oh my, you look HOT!!" lol... On the other hand, if you were talking to your non-christian friend and you say the same it's not that bad and then you feel bad cause it's a bit hypocritical! lol...I know my imagination runs crazy sometimes!! But, I still wonder...

How do I dress up without mis-representing my belief?? You see I love short skirts, shorts.. and erhmm I don't know.... How do you proclaim your faith with punctuating most of your words and actions like "by the grace of God", "it is well" without seeming like a fanatic??
I know sometimes the answer seems pretty straight forward but in practice it's not as easy as it seema..

You know how it is when you are chatting with your friends at school/work or someone you just met and they are talking about things you have strong views about such as sex before marriage (yeah, that sensitive subject!) drinking, clubbing, abortion(trust me, it is becoming quite the norm, ask Marie Stopes!) etc etc.. It's you against like 5 to 10 people and you are like erhmmm.... lol

Just to encourage you, you are not the only one who struggles with it, even the best of us find it difficult! I mean I wanna be "cool" too, say "cool" words, act "cool", do "cool" things, lol.. I put the word cool in quotation marks cause it's quite relative. It has been quite misused over the years and the wrong things have become the new "cool" but always remember that the bible says in Romans12v2 that we should not be conformed to this world... Don't do things cause everyone is doing it, you have to draw the line sometimes and stand for what you believe in! It's hard but by the grace of God (yeah, that phrase :-) it is very possible.. Remember you are not in it alone, God would give you the grace and the strength to do it!!!

Not to say for you to completely let go and become frumpy!! NOPE! Be a pacesetter, fashion-wise and in other areas, endeavor to look gooood, I mean you have a beautiful God clothed in majesty, REPRESENT!! There are many ways to be cool without compromising!! You don't have to look or act dry to be a bona fide Christian lol..

Develop a good sense of humour, be charming, charismatic... Walk with a swagger (it's not a sin :-) Be polite and nice to people..that's cool! Learn how to dance well. Harness whatever skill you have, be it dancing, singing, poetry, rapping, comedy....anything! Explore all your potentials... Let others see you and envy you!! REPRESENT!!!

God bless xxxx

Monday, 8 September 2008

Hooker

Heyy
How you doing? Hope the cold isn't getting to you (for non-UK dwellers, it's getting quite cold in Britain) I would surely miss summer a lot! Now would be a good time to have a significant other to cuddle up to :-)

I'm not really feeling inspired at the moment but feel it's necessary to drop in. Let's see, anyone interested in politics? What do you think of the furore that is the impending US elections? The whole world is agog with news of every single development. If Obama sneezes, Malawi would find out how long it occurred for, if McCain smiles, Bangladesh would want to know why! Oh well it's prolly cause the US economy affects each and everyone of the other countries in the world. The position of the American president is known to be the most important and whoever holds it is thought to be the most important person in the world! All the best to both candidates and for the sake of the rest of us, may the best man win!

Talking about America, something funny happened to me so maybe I'll just share (the danger of sharing personal experiences is the risk of getting found out hence my reluctance to talk about personal issues :-). Anyways, back to the story at hand, someone I know (reasonably older than me) called me out of the blues one day and after the opening pleasantries asked "would you like to marry my brother?" I was a bit taken back by the unusual "proposal", I would have just laughed it off but the seriousness of the conversation made me hold myself. Let me say here that I am not well disposed to "hook-ups" i.e a mutual friend hooking me up with someone they know.

Reason being that if things don't work out, it becomes a bit difficult to maintain a cordial relationship with the "hooker" lol. Oh well the said brother leaves in America and was looking for a wife.... By the way, I don't think I mentioned to my friend that I was looking for a husband at any point in time :-) Suffice to say it didn't really work out, we were introduced but erhmmm, let's just say he didn't quite "rock my boat" hehehe (I hope the feeling wasn't mutual, lol)

What can I say I didn't really like it but it's the thought that matters and I am quite flattered that my friend thought me a worthy wifey for the precious brother..

Have to run now, there's a nice Nigerian movie waiting to be watched!
God bless xxxx

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

AN IDEAL MAN

I cannot believe it's been almost a whole WEEK!! Wow, I am really slacking! :-( I really need to buckle up!! I have had sooo many topics for discussion running around in my head for the past few days. So many things have happened, I have heard so many things, I have read so many things and I have experiened so many emotions! It's been quite a mini roller-coaster actually.

It makes me wonder then why it is so difficult for me to blog regularly??!! Granted, I have been quite busy in the past few days but who isn't? I believe it's all down to an acute case of procrastination + a tad bit of laziness (yeah yeah I'm quite lazy BUT working on it :-)

I saw this quote a few days back on someone's blog and I absolutely loved it and I leave you with the thought!..

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her"

Isn't that just profound? Ever since I saw this quote, I have been ruminating it (hope that was properly phrased, lol) in my head. I would LOVE to be that kind of woman!!! One thing I wouldn't compromise in finding the ideal man is that he must have a PASSION for God. Infact that quality is a top pre-requisite!!

The beauty of such a man is that the fear of God would make him unable to do some certain things. Just like the song that says "when a man loves a woman....", "when a man loves his God!" he would find it difficult to lie/cheat/hit his girl. He would treat her with so much love and respect for the sake of God.. Why wouldn't I want a guy like that?? :-) I have always believed that once a man is right with God, other (good) things would surely follow.

I am not talking about a man who proclaims he is a christian and does everything to negate that fact but a man who truly loves God. There is a big difference!
May God help us in our quest to findng THE ONE!!

Kisses

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX!

Hey!! Howdy!
How have you been? Hope you have been good and not up to anything naughty!

Today I've got time for only a short write-up but hopefully it would be worthwhile.... You see I'm a "busy somebody" lol.

As a single young lady, my mind tends to waunder a LOT! Especially with respect to some particular aspects hehee.. What makes it even worse is that this particular subject is not readily discussed in the part of the world that I come from. Even though we are evolving and people are becoming more comfortable with talking about it, unfortunately erhmm it's not really like that in my house :-) My parents are not just that comfortable... maybe they are shy or probably want to keep me as "innocent" as possible for as long as they can!

The issue os sex is something I believe parents should discuss with their kids!! What do you think?

Sorry I have to cut this short but I have to dash now but I will definately continue the discussion......

Later
God bless xxxx

Thursday, 14 August 2008

I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES!!

Mrs A, Mrs B or Mrs F, which one has the nicest ring to it?

No, I'm not getting married but I spoke to someone today and we really got on well so I was just trying out his surname to see if it would fit with mine, lol. Crazy huh? hahaha.. I know, but funny thing is that's what happens most times!!

That's why I love Natasha Bedingfield's song "I wanna have your babies!" lol (I'm listening to it right now). I remember one of my male friends making a comment about the song and saying how ridiculous it was, and how it wasn't true.... I just laughed and thought to myself "if only he knew" lol! The reason why I love that song soo much is that whilst its a bit exaggerated the sentiments are quite on point:-)

I don't know if it's just me and Natasha Bedingfield that act in that way but I remember how I get when I meet someone new and a short while after, I start thinking if he's "THE ONE". I do a very quick but thorough check on his background, physical and spiritual attributes, character etc. I could get all this informatIon from one or two conversations with him (what can I say, your girl gat skills, lol). ... There was this particular guy whom I really liked and who "scored" high points in my personal potential boyfriend (husband :-) test but I guess all my prodding finally got to him and he couldn't take any more of it, he actually jokingly remarked once that he felt like he was taking an examination and once asked "so, did I pass?" Poor boy, if only he knew what was going through my crazy mind! hehehe.... Worst still, little sad me, GET A LIFE!!

One mistake I used to make a lot (I'm a changed person now of course! :-) was that I focused soo much on making sure that every guy I met measured up to a certain standard that I forgot to just relax and enjoy the moment and experience the process of getting to know them like a normal person.. I would check for this and that and in cases where I had found all that out, I would move on to even more stupidly trivial matters and ask "random" leading questions such as "what would you do if your wife (*cough cough*, me) bla bla bla" and await his response to see if he were the one or not...lol. I laugh at it now but it wasn't funny then, I was simply stark raving out of any form of common sense.

Someone once told me that men can "smell" when women want to take things to a further level FAST and there's one way in which guys usually react, they run FAST! Not in your direction, sorry to disappoint you honey but they run AWAY... So we only end up getting the wrong response!

Thank God I have tried and been able to relax a lot now and I've decided to take things easy, key objective being "make friends first and other things would follow". Enjoy the "honeymoon" period of dating and don't ruin it all by being "anxious for nothing". Relax, if he's yours he's yours, if not then his loss!! *wink wink*


God bless xx

P.S Can someone please inform/instruct/educate me on how to upload videos on this page, merci/muchos gracias!! xxx

Until then you can copy and paste (hehe) this link to watch the famous Natasha Bedingfield's song "I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3YLpl2cxuc

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

GOOD FRIENDS

I'm sorry!!

I've been away for soo long, if it helps I have missed you just as much as you have :-)
I have been quite busy and even though I have longed to blog, I haven't had the time to. Oh well, I'm back now, hopefully I would not be gone for that long again (or at least for another long while). So what's happened? Any new thing? Job, school, family, man?? hehehe. Well I am still single :-) Wouldn't it have been nice if it were a new man that's been keeping me from blogging? Sigh! that day would come... not to worry though I would be on hand to give all the gist hehehe...

Yesterday, someone did something for me that touched me so much. One of my friends went out of her way to do something extra-ordinary for me and it left me feeling so grateful for good friends. I would like to dedicate today's post to good friends.

Good friends make you forget that you are single as they fill in that loneliness and emptiness that sometimes creeps up on you. I have mentioned in earlier posts about learning to enjoy the company of your friends and not paying particular attention to having "exclusivity" with your boyfriend/girlfriend. It's important to surround yourselves with people who make you feel good about yourself as well as friends who go out of their way to do things for you. Better still it is important to BE that kind of friend to someone else.

A lot of times we look for "good" friends. Everyone is searching for a worthy friend however forgetting to check if they themslves can be termed as good or worthy friends. When was the last time you did something special for your friend? How often do you go out of your way to help your friend? Are you reliable? Can your friends honestly say that you are trust-worthy and loyal? Do you make your friends smile? Do you compliment them often or just criticise them? When was the last time you noticed something good or different about your friend and mentioned it?

Being a good friend like being a good wife/husband is HARDWORK!!... But very rewarding. Many times we get so comfortable in friendship that we forget to maintain it by occasional kind gestures. A little smile today, a little thoughtful gift (even if inexpensive) goes a long way to show your friends that you appreciate them. Don't wait for special occasion to be nice, do it NOW! Remember when you finally get into a relationship, these are things you would have to do, so why don't you practice now by being a good friend... good friends make good partners in relationships....Its very simple but true.

I would like to challenge you today, do something special for at least one of your friends today. I would try to do the same and let you know about the result tomorrow. (If you like, you can do something special for me, I wouldn't mind hehehe :-)

I hope you have fulfilling relationships and may you be surrounded by good friends!!!xxxxx

P.S Sorry about the seriousness of this post but erhmm what can I say, I am feeling kinda serious meself!

God bless xxx

Friday, 1 August 2008

Let's Get Married

Is it me or does it seem like everyone around me is in such a hurry to be "hooked"??! Either by marriage or just as partners, it doesn't really matter, the main point is that they have someone to call their own... It baffles me sometimes to realise that in the face of feminism, liberation and the sorts, the expectancy rate hasn't fallen, if possible it has risen and continues to do so. Nowadays, a young girl of 12 wants a "serious" relationship. Infact I have seen a few 4/5 year olds introducing their "boyfriend/girlfriend" to their parents (I find this pretty amusing, lol). But really though, what's the rush? Why are people in such a hurry to be coupled up? Are people getting quite bored with themselves? Is it no longer fun to hang out with good friends and family? Where's all the pressure coming from?

I do not speak as a stranger to these pressure to be "hooked", on the contrary I was a bonafide member of the "I want to get married or be in a good/serious relationship" society. I remember growing up as a christian, I didn't believe in random relationships, what we in secondary school used to term as "going out", I just felt it was a good waste of time! Nevertheless I was fanatical about romance. Oh I loved -scratch that - ADORED the act and process of falling in love. I was (and still am) a chocolate, flowers, candlelit dinners, surprise gesture kinda person (hehee) but I was prepared to wait for the right person.

I don't know when the change happened but I started to long after having a great relationship of my own. I tried to look for the "ideal" candidate and believed the rest would follow (according to those darn romance books -sorry to bust your bubbles ladies, there's only an element of truth in those stories, it's not all Cinderella and the Prince in real life! :-) Funny thing was no one was putting any pressure on me, just MOI, ME, MYSELF and I! Yes, my friends had an influence and yes the romance books and movies didn't help either but I made the decision myself to be anxious about it! I planned my love life out - How I wanted to meet Mr Right, what circumstance, how long we would "go out" for and what age I would get married (I am just hilarious!!!) Erhmmm, suffice to say it didn't quite work out that way, lol and then I began to obsess about it ( I am just like that hahaha). Funny thing is if you are looking for something to happen so much, there's a high possibilty that you would make mistakes or rush into stuff or worse, settle for less!

Thank God for His grace, there's nothing like the way God makes you feel to boost your self-esteem, for me that has always been a strong and unfailing anchor. I realise that I cannot settle for just anything because God has BIG plans for me and oh no I'm I ready to jeopardise that because I want to "fall in love". I have decided to stop chasing after what would eventually chase me in God's own time, it's not easy but the end result is more than worth the wait! Instead, I focus more on developing and building relationships with my friends and family, I learn to enjoy my own company, my alone time. I learn to love hanging out with my friends, doing things together (I thank God that I have amazing and wonderful friends!)

It's important to find yourself before committing yourself into a serious relationship, stop trying to look for yourself in someone else, you won't find YOU instead you would get lost even deeper! Whilst you keep yourself busy making friends and having fun, you would not be so focused on finding THE ONE. When he comes, he would do all the chasing and not the other way round >(Don't be fooled, men love the thrill of the chase, what's the point of keeping something that you got sooo easy?). He would wine and dine you..... Perhaps that romantic fantasy would be reality after all *wink wink* lol

God bless! xxxx

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

A place called "beautiful"

Today's another day, nothing major has happened but a lot of lessons learnt. One thing I truly believe in is trying as much as possible to make/get the best out of everything and every kind of situation. I strongly believe that it's a decision that you make, things don't tend to just happen, YOU make them happen!! Don't wait for something to happen, MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!! I can't stress this point enough but I hope it sinks in.... :-)

Anyways since I don't have enough to say about today, let me talk about yesterday which was Sunday... I LOVE SUNDAYS!! This never used to be the case though, I remember when I was younger and I LOATHED sundays, lol. The earlier bit was nice cause of church and sunday lunch but the latter part......arghh! The evening signified an end to a lovely weekend and the dreaded back to school reality!! Eugh!! :-( I remember there used to be something eerie about sunday nights and I just whole-heartedly disliked that annoying "News at 9" or "Newsline" programme they used to show at the time, the opening song was more like a dirge to me..... Oh how I hated it! lol

Nevertheless, I'm happy to say that I am grown up now *I think, or at least managed to convince myself :-)* and Sunday doesn't leave that bad taste in my mouth any longer. Actually I look forward to the day eagerly!! The reason for this change is largely attributed to going to church! I know it sounds really unconventional but trust me going to church on Sunday morning is one of the HIGH points of my week! When I struggle (yes I do struggle :-) out of bed in the morning, getting ready and dressing up is a ritual I quite enjoy a lot! As most ladies would tell you, looking good and dressing up to the teeth is one art we truly enjoy (Why do you think we spend sooo long at the shops/online shopping??) In addition to that, I want to look good for "my main main", my first love, Jesus.... I am an ardent believer in dressing up to church, no matter how relaxed the atmosphere is, I equate it to meeting with a celebrity or being the guest of royalty (of which God is above both) hence the need to dress for the occasion..

One of the best part though is walking into church....the ATMOSPHERE!! Oh so beautiful, amazing, peaceful, joyous... I really can't explain how I feel but it's a gooooood feeling!! Just being there is wonderful enough, the presence of God is really indescribable, you need to experience it to understand! My favourite part of church meeting/service is good/spirit-filled praise and worship! I love singing, dancing, clapping, jumping, screaming, being a child in God's presence. The great thing about praise and worship is that whilst you are giving it to God, He gives you back in return at that moment so much joy and peace in addition to a whole lot more!! Oh I love His presence sooo much, it's sooo great :-)
The people as well make up a good service as there's such nice comfort in a loving and welcoming atmosphere...

I know it can be hard to understand what the "fuss" is about but if you have experienced it before you'll appreciate where I'm coming from :-) If you haven't "then you just don't know, but you gotta ask somebody" hehehe


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Esqe-ZvgFzM&feature=related - One of my favourite praise songs!!! (Just copy and paste to your browser)Enjoy.......xxxx

Saturday, 26 July 2008

PDA day

It's a loovely saturday afternoon today and perfect for a nice walk/picnic at the beach/ ice-cream date/ window shopping with a better half but erhmm I just remembered I'm single :-) Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining nor am I very much bothered but it would be nice to share such a day with "my man". Anyways no use crying over milk not yet bought :-)

For the single girl, it can be quite stressful going into town (special reference to the UK where I am) where it's otherwise known as PDA day!! (PDA as in Public Display of Affection!) Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to insult your intelligence by fully expanding the acronym but I remember the first time I heard it, I actually thought it was the name of a car navigator like GPRS lol (razzite like me) ... Anyways, back to what I was discussing, I know you guys understand what I mean when I say it is absolutely annoying and sometimes frustrating to see a man and a lady walking in front of you and then stop in the middle of road/street to french kiss with some bum grabbing thrown in for good measure......arggghhhh!! I get so irritated, Im like "Can't you just wait??". Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being affectionate with your partner/husband/wife but.....mildly please!! There's such a thing as public decorum!! Whatever happened to good old hand holding or arms around each other or whispering sweet nothings to each other or even a brush of the hands on a specific part of (decent) body part?? Trust me, this things can be done in such an intimate manner that makes the action even more romantic than full on body grabbing or caressing!

Quite frankly I personally think it's disrespectful! Show that you appreciate my body so much that you would rather protect "it" from the full glare of men who would potentially start getting ideas about it in their heads! Be possesive about my body by waiting till we get behind the privacy of our home thereby allowing the other guys see but can't touch nor have what they can only see :-) Honey if you care about me, respect my body!! That's one of the rules of the game!!

Anyways, have a lovely weekend!! For the coupled up, enjoy the day out with "your man" or "your gurl", make sure you make the best of it, be romantic for a change, it's not a sin :-) and for my fellow "waiters" (as in waiting for "the one") erhmmm, be like me get a good book/movie and snuggle up in bed with ice-cream and every kind of naughty food that you really shouldn't have all the time. Better still, put on that gorge summer outfit with a nice pair of flip-flops or sandals, big celebrity shades and even bigger handbag and hit the streets/ shopping center/beach/restaurant looking even hotter than the day......... we are single and free aren't we! "wink"

God bless xx

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

My first post a.k.a my first child!!!! lol

Hey my new friends!! Glad you could join me on this new "escapade" (I wish!)..... I am neither jobless nor bored, (perish the thought!! :-)) but I have a desire to write an experience of the journey to finding the one whilst patiently waiting for the best that God has for me. Trust me it is not that easy especially when it seems like ALL the people around you are in one fulfilling relationship or another!!

I am single at the moment (obviously, lol), I've had a short history of relationships (thankfully, good ones :-), I've made mistakes in the past with regards to relationships, I am a christian and I enjoy a very wonderful relationship with God my father, my first love!! I believe in marriage and the knowledge that a good one or actually a great one is achievable by the grace of God. I do not believe in sex before marriage according to the word of God nevertheless knowing it's wrong doesn't make it easy to obey but it's possible by God's grace.

I believe that finding the right partner in God contributes to the success of a good marriage hence the reason why sometimes I am so "passionate" about getting that aspect right. I must confess, not very healthy all the time!! lol. When I remember some of the things I did when I was younger, I LAUGH!! LOL.

The blog name is inspired by the fact that me (one) plus God (The One) make a great combination and there's only one space left for the other "one", what can I say, three's company....four's a crowd :-)

I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy blogging xxxxx