Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Taking it back OLD SCHOOL

The day after my aunt got married, she came over to my house to say hi and to pick up a few things before jetting out on honeymoon.  Of course, being the curious cat that I am, I seized the opportunity of interrogating her of how her first night as a married woman went.
She’s my aunty but the age difference between us is not that great so we get along very well; we are really close and I find it easy to discuss almost everything with her. Anyways, I was dying to tease and know what had gone on. If you know me, you would know that I am interested in anything and everything pertaining to married life and since I haven’t had the good fortune of walking down the aisle yet, I am always quick to harass my friends + family who have taken the plunge before me.

At one point during our conversation, (I’ll spare you the full details), she said to me “One, do you know that hubby and I did not as little as kiss before we got married?”.. I kept quiet and looked at her with such huge admiration.

Let me explain to you why my admiration for her went up by 1000%.. You see, having a godly relationship/courtship in today’s world as a Christian is not the easiest things and I am sure you will agree with me. There are so many things that have come to be deemed as acceptable even when they clearly compromise the word of God.  For me, it is increasingly difficult to draw the line to what is acceptable and not acceptable by God’s standard. Key word being God’s standard and not society or media or peer’s standard.

The challenge is not only due to external forces but also internal as well. When you love someone, the physical attraction is c-r-a-z-y and it takes only the grace of God and strong discipline to stop one from doing what you don’t want to. I remember a few years ago, before I got into my last relationship, I desperately wanted it to be as godly as possible. I had made up my mind that there would be not even as ‘much’ as kissing not to mention ‘quaving’/’petting’/’snogging’ etc.. Alas, when the time came and emotions overtook good sense, it was difficult not to hold, kiss + others. It proved to me that sometimes you may have good intentions but when it comes to the crux of the matter, and emotions and ‘right atmosphere’ come into play, good intentions + rationale fly out the window with the promise to come back another day (this promise often does not happen!). I know how difficult it is and I understand how many Christians are struggling with how to be in a loving relationship/courtship that still obeys God’s word and glorifies Him hence why my admiration for my aunt stemmed out of the fact that I thought she was a trooper for being able to ‘hold herself’!!

Anyways, again I have made up my mind (this time with as much pre-prayers as much as possible) that when The One does come, I want it to be absolutely and totally God’s way!! I desire for it to be as ‘Old School’ as possible! You see, in the past, Christian relationships involved no physical relationship whatsoever. I know this may sound archaic and out-dated, nevertheless personally I have discovered that one kiss is never sufficient especially when you are in love with someone. It always starts innocently but there’s always a possibility for things to go a lot further. So I had rather prefer to ‘flee all appearances’. In addition, I believe that time and ways change every day but God’s standards remain the same.

I want my relationship and courtship period to be a lot about getting to know THE PERSON as opposed to the body. I want to fall in love with his mind and love the way his words caresses my mind & soul and not his hands my body. I want to share with him what I read about and learnt from the bible for that day and I want us to pray over the phone together before we go to bed. I want to see clearly the way he treats his family and friends and those around him to be able to understand the way he would treat me and our children. I want to laugh and joke with him and have things in common with him separate but in addition to my physical attraction to him…..

I know that these things do not come by mere wishful thinking but in addition to praying for the grace of God to carry me through, I understand that I have to take practical steps as well. I know that there are many situations and things I would have to deprive myself during this short period in order to achieve this. I know that he has to be in agreement as well with me so that we can help each other in our time of inevitable weakness. I know that there will be times when I would just want to throw it all in and kiss his oh so attractive lips that be calling out to me “One, One, just one gentle kiss”… (*sigh* God help me!) or when my body will be all hot and bothered for him but I choose to WAIT.

I will wait because I know that it is but a matter of time and then he will be ALL mine, I will wait because no matter how long our relationship is, our marriage will be much more longer by God’s grace. And I will wait most importantly because I know it will bring glory to my Father in heaven who is the ultimate THE ONE, THE ONE.. I am that I am.

And when the time of waiting is over, when the Pastor says to him “You may now kiss your bride”.. OH MY GOODNESS!! If people are not careful, we may not attend our own reception! In fact, after all the waiting, I will be hoping that all things being equal, children will come only after about 2 years of KNOWING my HUSBAND! *wink wink* xx

27 comments:

  1. Good one! I recently made this commitment myself- only God will see us through oh! lol!

    Adiya
    The Corner Shop

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  2. I found myself smiling as I read your post cos I can identify with you so much... Seems to me like your heart is in a good place, trusting God while being practical.
    Talking about what your goals with "the one" helps, as well as having someone hold you accountable (your aunt for example) cos there will be times when the flesh will be weak ;o)
    God's grace will keep you as you choose to honor Him and live by His standards especially at a time when it's so unpopular.

    All the best

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  3. Thanks for taking this opportunity to discuss this, I feel fervently about this and I like learning about this subject.Best Business School

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  4. @Adiya, Amen O! Well done, please let me know how it's going..
    @Gbemisoke, I believe it's your first time her, a big welcome and hug! Thanks a lot for your kind words of encouragement and prayers.. I hope the story will be one of success by God's grace.. I will keep you guys posted once I commence the journey :-)
    @amiyawiliams, you're also most welcome! Thanks for stopping by.. and I hope to hear your views as well in subsequent discussions!
    God bless you xx

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  5. Going old school is a commitment that only the strong at heart can be involved in, and off-course, only with God's help

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  6. OMG!!!i love you!!!!!i thought i was d only one dat felt dis way....btw i love d way u write--very funny :)

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  7. @rarestreak, I agree with you, it takes REAL commitment and I reiterate, grace of God!
    @sayedero, love you too!!!! :-) Thanks a lot for such lovely compliments and no, you're definitely not the only one that feels that way :-)
    Special welcome to both of you! Thanks for stopping by my blog xx

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  8. yayyy!!!u replied....pls culd u post more often coz in now officially addicted--trust me i dont even read my skool books.d way u wryte iz just mahd!!.plsssss***on my knees*** lol

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  9. LOL!
    *kissses* to you Sayedero! You are so lovely...
    Thank you very much for your generous comment!
    SO help me God, I shall post more frequently.. God bless you hun xx

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  10. PS. I've changed my blog url! I decided to keep the blog on Blogger after all. Check out the link: http://museorigins.blogspot.com. Sorry for the inconvenience X_x

    Adiya
    Muse Origins (formerly The Corner Shop)

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  11. Thanks for sharing truth on this pertinent issue. It's a timely post because the lines are increasingly being blurred when it comes to worldy relationships and God-centred ones. Like you pointed out, it is God's standards we must measure ourselves against and not worldly standards. Just because everyone's doing it doesn't make it right. I'm glad there are still people trying to walk the narrow path in this generation of ours where anything goes. It's by no means an easy path hence the need for God's grace and practical boundary lines. Thanks for this post.

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  12. The old school style is usually the best o, all the best and God's grace.

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  13. @Setwatchman and Myne *kisses*.. Thanks for your comments.. Please pray as well, it's not at all an easy thing.. again I say, God help me! :-) xx

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  14. love this post and good to know there are still a few committed ones out there...and i know God will surprise you,,,your man is somewhere someplace also making this commitment towards you and your relationship which will make it easier for both of u.

    God bless!

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  15. Amen! That's such a beautiful and powerful prayer aloted! Thanks a lot hun, I say a big AMEN to it.. May God bless you immensely! xx

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  16. Hi.
    Just read this and i must say that its a great read and right on the mark. Nothing beats the GOD kinda way, You never get it wrong with GOD. I will be printing this article for my daughter and keeping it for her, She's six. You are laughing now right?!!!? I have got "KISSED THE GIRLS AND MADE THEM CRY by LISA BEVERE",lined up for her. This article is good stuff too. Keep the banner flying, Be the change you want to see in this nation,Lead amongst your peers with your life and the faith you profess, HE will keep you and the evil one has no part in your portion. YOU WILL MAKE IT,YEAH!!!!!!! GOD BLESS YOU!!More grace to you.AMEN

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  17. One, U are 'One' hilarious writer...god stuff! I've had ur blog open for 3 days now, I kept postponing reading it cos I thought it would be boring (what with the picture of Ocsar wilde and stuff) bt Its cool! And U write so real - straight from the heart. From a fello w blogger, iLike.
    Now, Ur posts makes a lotta sense cos that's exactly how I'd like my relationship to be. I want to get it right the first time. Thanks for adding to my inspiration in that regard.

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  18. Well you are not writing much! And you have some fans!
    Would you like to exchange links with this blog
    Nigeria Gossip Blog and educative blog?

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  19. We all pray for that.Let`s pray that our partners are Godly and things we will work between both of us.Not just now but also in future and we get to be with the ones we love and also we get to meet out grand kids.

    www.chizys-spyware.blogspot.com

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  20. Hiya Leroy, CeeJay Chizy and HNN!
    Thanks so much guys for your comments, I'm glad you enjoyed reading the article and thank you as well for your kind words.
    Welcome to all the first-timers! God bless you xx

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  21. Hilarious and yet very practical!.I could relate to your values anyday,its superb.Though times and trends seem to have changed and the ancient land marks almost erased,it is heart warming to know that some marks have chosen not to be erased.Hang in there,you are not alone.It is a difficult choice but a possible accomplishment,only by THE ONE's grace.Remain secured in HIM.

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  22. @Amanda, it's always encouraging to meet someone else who shares the same values! Thanks a lot xx

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  23. Choi!!! the way Adam knew Eve abi?!!!! badt geh....
    The temptations of the flesh! Only God can save us! only him

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  24. saw ur url on twitter, decided to check it out and am so blessed that I did. Thank God there are still Christians who think this way, am so blessed!

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  25. Love this post too you spoke my mind, glad to know I am not the only one who thinks and feels this way when it comes to relationships.

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  26. Hmmm....It takes the Grace of God,our determinations are not just enough, we need The Special Grace of God to back it up.
    I must feature on Waiting and Dating series by God's Grace

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  27. Thanks a lot for your comment.. Indeed, it takes the grace of God xx

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