Thursday, 29 August 2013

Calling all role-model-ic men!

I honestly think it's time we started having more posts and articles on how to be a great husband/father/man!

There are so many articles and publications on 'Pleasing your husband', 'Enabling your man be the head', 'How to get and keep a husband', 'Being a suitable helper to your man' etc which I think is fantastic! Marriage is one of the most important institutions on earth and so it is only apt that there are available resources to access on how to enjoy your marriage. Plus I have benefited immensely from such articles.

However, as you would have noticed, most of the titles I gave above are directed to women.. I know that they say that it's a woman that makes a home but we see again and again that a man can also bring down a womanly well-kept home! It takes two to make it work.. TWO!

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I believe that most often, women are more proactive than men - so we can take on a project and run with it (more like fly with it lol), we are inherently passionate about things and so we commit to it heart, body and soul! Let me say here that men also do (before I get crucified lol)..

What I am trying to say is that we need more men speaking up about being great leaders and role models in their homes and showing so by example too. We have more men writing even more materials about how to be the perfect wife or how to satisfy your husband and I think the market is now saturated.. We need more male-enhancing focused resources!

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Many women are suffering in silence, many men are suffering in silence too cause they just don't gerrit! Please help them gerrit!

A lot of men want to be better men, better husbands, better fathers, better brothers, better leaders but just don''t know how to..

Calling all role model-ic men... Please help a brother and sister out!

PS I started a search on google starting with 'How to please...' and these are the top 4 prompts that came up:
How to please God
How to please a man
How to please a man in bed (just in case the one above is not as specific as you want)
How to please a woman

PPS We will continue to encourage one another on how to be the best spouse to our husbands, please work with us, make our jobs easier..

Tuesday, 20 August 2013

.... And lead us not into TEMPTATION..

I FINALLY watched the Temptation movie by Tyler Perry last night!

*DISCLAIMER* - Spoiler Alert (Please if you haven't watched the movie, I talk about some things that happened in it)

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I believe it's a movie that has a message for different people in different ways depending on what 'demons' you're facing.

Many parts of the movie made me really sad for Judith (the lead character). Many times, when it has to do with marriage/relationships, I must say that a lot of emphasis is put on how a woman/wife must continue to make an effort long after the initial buzz of the relationship in order to keep her man from straying.

Learn to spice up the relationship! Keep the romance alive, don't wear hairnets (you have to read this POST on www.naijahusband.com - beautiful!), make sure dinner is ready before he gets home, do your nails, maintain excellent personal hygiene, don't let sex be boring, don't wear boring nighties etc etc etc.. In fact, I have taken sooo many notes I have an encyclopaedia of information on how to 'keep the fire of romance burning vigorously for my man in my home'.

Arguably (I stand to be corrected), I don't think a lot of our brothers are being informed on how to keep their woman from straying.

I believe very strongly that one of the biggest needs of a woman in a relationship is security. This includes security in that fact that you still love her as much as you did when you first met, that she actually made the right decision in choosing to be with you (yes, we think about that too), that you still love her enough to make an effort - dress well, look sharp! (yes, we have our egos too and we want to proudly show you off to our girlfriends and sometimes exes lol), that you can still give us as much attention to keep us going (let me shout it loud - Women loveee attention, many of us love quality time, we also like affirmation.... "Baby I love you", "Baby, you can do it", "Baby, I will support you").. It matters a LOT to us too! Remember birthdays and important days.

When you stop doing all these things, you make other men who do it seem attractive. Please help us help you.. Be our man. Be the man we fell in love with. Make an effort. Shave. Use deodorant. Have a shower. Don't let that game outshine us. Listen to us when we dream (cause women love to dream + share it with our significant other). Don't stop dreaming yourself (we are natural nurturers so we gat to work with something - I dare say no woman wants a layabout). Act like the head, don't wait for us to keep doing the pushing. Surprise us once in a while. Remember the things you used to do when you were 'toasting' us? Do it again, and do it more!

It's not only 'bad' girls or 'ungrateful' girls who are tempted to or actually cheat, lonely women do, emotionally-deprived women do too, Christian girls who are bored and ignored do... (*disclaimer* it doesn't excuse it though*)

Lead us not into temptation we pray.

PS, I think he should have forgiven her and stayed. For me, that's the evidence of 'true' love *mythoughts*

Monday, 19 August 2013

A few of my favourite things about church

Yesterday I learnt about 'Seeds' in church and some of the different kinds of seeds that can be sown. (By the way, I go to an absolutely fantastic church! Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), City of David (COD)... Lovely lovely place!

Some of the things I love about my church, COD -

1. We are under a wonderful mission aka RCCG and we have a blessed and well respected leader in the person of Pastor E.A Adeboye. (A man I totally respect and would be the no 1 person at the moment I would love to have a sit down, in-depth, no holds barred chat/interview with on a month-long retreat) :-)
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2. At COD we have a very amiable Pastor and very trendy too! (The side-parting hair-cut is just too cool and his funky stride walk lol) A cool spiritual 'dude' - iLike!

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3. The worship is AMAZING!! I look forward to what heaven would be like with us all joining the heavenly hosts in humble adoration (Hope to see you there? Give me a nudge, you will not miss me.. I will be the one leading the choir and singing the loudest in my sparkling robe *wink*)

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* Please permit me to digress - The special song yesterday was so amazing! I could have gone home straight afterwards feeling blessed.. It was powerful enough to have made church for me! It talked about the grace of God.. The beauty of that grace.. What blessing it is to have been lost and found by God's amazing grace!

4. The celebration of families and marriages. This was one of the things that endeared the church to me. I like the fact that they openly celebrate couples and they do this thing whereby on special occasions, couples have to publicly affirm each other before everyone. Some of these open shows and declarations of love, commitment and gratitude have brought a tear or two to people's eyes. (It helps to restore your faith in the institution of marriage)

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5. Commitment to social action, community development and giving. COD is a giving church! I have to say that. One of the things that made me decide on COD as a church of choice was how much involvement they had in meeting the needs of the poor as much as possible. They have so many initiatives, one of which is the 'A Can can make a difference'. It's brilliant and I appreciate that in a church.

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These are just a very few of my favourite things about COD... You see why I get excited about going to church?! Lol..

It is very important in our Christian walk to find a church that you 'connect' with.. What matters to me in the choice of a church may be at the very bottom of your list but I thank God for the variety in styles of worship and conduction of services. The underlying and uniform quality must be that they preach Jesus, the unadulterated word of God, in addition to other things.

Look for what suits you but don't stay home remaining unsatisfied.. Church can be and should be fun, exciting and a family! It's possible!