Thursday, 10 April 2014

Waiting and Loving It! Feat Titi and Leke Adeboye Part II

Hiya guys! It's a double whammy this week! I didn't think we would be doing 2 slots of Waiting and Loving It this week but then our interview with the Adeboyes (you can read HERE) was not complete as the Mr had to excuse himself to attend to urgent business. However, he has kindly come-back to finish what he started (As a man of integrity right?) and I present it to you this lovely Thursday evening (in my part of the world!).. I hope you will be richly blessed and I can definitely say, there's a lot in there, especially for the fellas..... Enjoy! xxxx

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Thank you so much for coming to finish your feature! That's what's up! lol So, continuing from where you stopped, how did you meet your lovely wife?

Leke: Hmm How did we meet!

My wife already said this but I will say it again, I did not know that my mentor had a daughter or anything like that – slight selfishness on my part as I was only after his mentoring.. Well he later told me a few times that his daughter was in the University at the Redemption Camp (RUN) so I’m like "Ok, let’s check out who this daughter is" so that I won’t have to lie next time he asked “Did you see my daughter”, lol.. And then I saw her.. hmm.. you know – she wasn’t initially my type.. Maybe because I travel a lot. I have types.. I have met too many people - which can be a good thing or a bad thing.. This is because 'too many people' means that you have too many choices and it’s no longer God’s choice for you. 
You have an idea in your head, and once you fill your head with ideas of what you want, you kinda push God out so there’s no space for God in your ideas – which can be very bad! Anyways, moving on swiftly..

All I did was just collect her number.. "Let me just check up on you, I know your dad" etc. I just collected her number and walked away. Afterwards, I would send a text once in a while – "how are you doing?" "God bless you", "How was uni today?" "Any gist?, any story?" And once in a while I would share a story of work or whatever I was doing. I like jokes – so sometimes, I would share a joke with her, ask her a question,  you know, just gist and ideas - building friendship.

That's really cool. So how did you translate from friendship to knowing that this was IT? That she was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?


Well, I have to say here that I had a list (lol)... Initially my parents asked me who I was interested in and if I had been praying – You know we had THAT talk and I had a list of about 10 different girls that I thought were the one(!). I told them to pick one and they were like “You are not ready” and promptly tore up the list. Mehn, I had to go and start from ground zero and obviously cancel my list (hahaha). 
I decided to ask God to give me His own list of what I should want in a woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with.. I have to tell you, it was a journey – for guys, it’s usually a journey, especially if you are about to sign off your life completely. It’s a journey – between you trusting God and hearing God and listening and being able to understand ways in which God talks to you (this is why it is important to know how God talks to you, and not just wait till when you are about to get married before you start hearing from God). 
But anyway, how did I know she was IT? Like I said in my introduction initially, there are just some certain characters in a person that works out for me which my wife clearly exhibited - She’s a perfect blend. I come from a family where confidentiality is very important. Also, there are certain things we can do and certain things we cannot do. We understand that you don’t just live holy but you have to be an example to others as well.

Furthermore, I was asking God to show me the future and not the now. Most people don’t look at the future.. To be real, my wife did not look as hot then as she does now! When I met her, I wasn’t looking at now, but at the future.. And this is what, only 4 or 5 years ago.. (Cause I had to wait for her. I had to wait for her to finish Uni. I had to wait for her to go and finish NYSC – that’s another 1 year! I had to wait for her to go and start Masters!) But that Masters own was not too bad because her father was going to pay lol. You know because once you marry somebody (which some people don’t know), their everything becomes your everything – their debt becomes your debt, their money becomes your money, their broke-ness becomes your broke-ness, including their school fees becomes your school fees.. Omo for the Masters, wisdom profiteth LOL. In everything, get understanding – so I 'understood' and I said let the girl start Masters before we marry, that way she’s still her Dad’s responsibility (Amen? Hahaha). Afterwards, I had to pay for her expenses at University as we were now married (LOL – her father and I shared the responsibility) *I digress*
But I knew she was the one.. It was just clear – at the time, God just hit me like “Hey, you’ve been looking all around in different locations when all you need is just 10mins drive from your house – right there! Don’t worry, stop flying everywhere – I have already provided her for you. Don’t fly anywhere, I will fly her to you" – just like He did it for Elijah when he was hungry (1Kings 17).. Yes I knew she was the one. And it’s easy to spend the rest of your life with somebody like that!

That's really wonderful! So, what made you make the decision to wait?


I honestly believe that for a guy it’s harder to wait! But one of the things is this – in any relationship, in any friendship, you guys should have boundaries and agreements that you 'sign' from the word go. It’s like a covenant –this relationship, we have rules at the beginning, sit down, let’s talk – if people are going out/dating/courting, if they don’t have the sit-down talk of ‘these are the dos and don’ts', and set out expectations, I'm sorry but they are just joking, they are not ready yet.. 

So I had to wait, and assure her that there would be times I would not be on the 'mountain', there would be times I would not be ‘spiritual’ and would be very carnal, and that she should please remind me that all of this (which is her) would be mine for the rest of our lives, after we finish the ‘I dos' . At that time I was about to turn 30 and if we are supposed to live an average of 70 in the world (which by God’s grace we will live longer), that means I have 40+ years left to spend with her, so why won’t I wait?

Where you tempted?

Ha temptation full ground.. like Fried rice at a rich man’s wedding.. Of course it was hard, it wasn’t that easy.. especially when you’re left in the same place, especially when your wife is extremely hot like mine, yeah it is hard! But God helped us.. but I won’t lie, it was hard.. struggle sef!

I can only imagine! So now that you have crossed that line, what would you say to your single self?

Haa to my single self? I should have not wasted all that money on the girls before! Oh my days! All the birthday parties that I have paid for in life lool. (Because you know if you really want to get a girl {advice to all single brothers out there} you have to parley with all her friends..If you are buying gifts for the girl, buy for all her friends, if the girl is doing birthday, celebrate for all her friends! lol.. If you can win over the friends, you are ok! If you can win all the 12 disciples, you have won over Jesus – all the best with Judas Iscariot though, because there’s always going to be one (hahaha).

Don’t date as many people, I know they say it’s to gain experience but at the same time, it’s a problem because it comes back to bite you. Some relationships are more difficult to break off from, there are some scars that will heal but the mark will still be there. There are some heartbreaks that you don’t need. Being dumped by certain girls was not a good look and doing so to girls is not a good look either. Just stay faithful to God.. Don’t try and listen to methods that the 'world' or popular opinion gives you in terms of how to relate with women. When Jesus said that He will send the Holy Spirit to us to teach us all things (John 14:26), He did not actually mean just spiritual things.. Me I won’t lie, it was the Holy Spirit that taught me how to toast my wife. I thought I was going to use the same old school methods that I normally used, but that did NOT work.. It took me a while to understand the way. So literally I had to learn how to toast with the help of the Holy Spirit - And that was amazing to be honest because the Holy Spirit has insider information on the girl you are toasting more than you could ever have yourself (Note though, the Holy Spirit will only help you to toast the one that He has told you that you will end up with oh!)

Holy Spirit the informant, nice one! So, could you tell us 3 great things about being married to your wife?

One of the things I prayed to God for was a non-regular Nigerian wife - like I don’t want to be eating eba, I don’t want to be eating asaro onisu gigan all the time lol. I like things that are exotic, at the same time enjoyable. I like somebody that likes to try new things because I don’t want to be stuck in my ways (generally, if you are already stuck in your ways, it’s more difficult for God to speak to you and change you and move you forward).. And my wife can cooook! My wife tries different things all the time - Italian, Chinese, Nigerian, Portuguese, Spanish Paella, name it! She buys cookbooks too to spice things up! –  (yeah) I am a very happy man!

Secondly, I desired someone that would not come into my family as a minus but as an addition and my wife has been a great addition to my family. My mum LOVES her, as in at the beginning I was jealous because they even loved her more than me! I don’t want to say anymore (I don’t want her head to 'swell' too much joh)

Thirdly, her spending habits! You see some people would think that when they collect offerings in RCCG parishes, a percentage will be deposited in my account – NO, it’s not family business lol.. So even the little finances that I have, my wife knows how to manage it. Recently, I was at an airport about to come back home – I called my wife I said “Baby, I saw this beautiful (expensive) bag, do you want it?" My wife replies me and says no, "I need a pair of oven gloves and an apron, that’s all I want".. As in, I cannot lie, I was seriously trippped, like honestly, it’s only God that can give you a wife like this!... Even me personally, if you call me to ask me that, even if I don’t want the bag, I can ask you to bring the money (haha). 
Another time, I gave her money to go on a trip and she returned the change! I wasn’t expecting that (Not that she doesn’t have her money, but I take pride in my responsibility as her husband to provide for her). You see if you have someone like that that can manage you, manage your life, somebody that is there for not just her own interest but for your own interest as well in every way.. come on, what else do you want? Somebody like that, you will literally die for the person.. 

Can I say this to all other married men or men out there that are willing to marry? I usually ask them "Are you ready?" You see, because the bible says something, "Husbands love your wives like Christ loved the church" (Ephesians 5:25) and I always ask people - What did Christ do for the church? He died for the church! If you haven’t found a babe that you know that you are willing to truly die for, then you haven’t found the right one or you have found the right one and you are not ready. Then don’t waste anybody’s time when you’re not ready..

I’ll be honest, YES I’m ready to die for this woman! I’m serious.. I’m ready to die for my wife, I’ve signed a contract.. That’s the level we are right now. I asked God for a perfect wife – the one that matched me, that meets my own needs and He gave me one, so in return, I should do what He did. #Dassal

                                

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What a great way to conclude the interview! Of course you all should know my favourite part lol.. The part where he talks about how much a man should love his wife and be willing to sacrifice for her.. I have written a post previously asking Can You Die for Your Wife? (You can click to read)
Another thing I love was the real-ness in his admission that waiting before marriage was not a 'walk in the park' - it was sure difficult, but by the grace of God and mutual agreement and accountability, they were able to do it - that's wonderful. I thank God for their experience and for the grace that He gives each and every one of us to obey Him. It doesn't matter how far we've gone, He's reaching out today to let us know that "My grace is sufficient for you" (2Corinthians 12:9) You only need to be willing... 

Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!
Email - oneplustheone@gmail.com
Twitter - @1plustheone
Facebook - www.facebook.com/1plustheone


Also, you can read all the Waiting and Loving It Features HERE .. xxxx

29 comments:

  1. Awww what a lovely post! I seriously enjoyed reading this! So honest, real, funny and Godly still! I thank God for men like you! And wonderful insights as well! Hope single guys (and girls actually) are taking note! Thank you for presenting the marriage institution as what God has designed it to be! - blissful, exciting and of course sacrificial
    God bless you again
    And of course thank you one for the wisdom to start this series and also for all the wonderful couples you've featured!

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  2. Thank you so much! Thank God for great men indeed! God bless you for your comment and if He hasn't already, may He bless you with your GOOD-man :-) xx

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  3. Wow!!!

    Thank you, again for this...

    He's such a funny person...got me laughing at the 'eba and asaro onisu gigan' part...I'm usually lazy and uncreative when it comes to cooking..*covering face*.., always looking for how to make a fast retreat when I'm in the kitchen...Gotta try harder, the surest way to a man's heart might really be the tummy o...lol

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  4. An inspiring read, makes me look forward to an awesome marriage :-) . Must say, pastor Leke is one down to earth Pastor, more grace sir. Great work too, Ay.

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  5. I like this guy, but I don't understand how he can get tired of eba, I ate that all time :D

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  6. Wow..down to earth piece and personalities... Learnt alot.. Mesoma

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  7. This is first time on this blog, didn't knw such an educative blog on marriage exists. This is realy lovely I love it.

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  8. I smiled the whole time reading this. Down to earth, funny and relatable.

    Great post!

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  9. I enjoyed this!!! I saw my self getting into such a fix of having a list and finally choosing before I learnt his own approach of letting go ur list and let God give the wife. I must say, I admire his wife's virtues...Returning change from a trip???? who does that!!!

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  10. Woooow...Lord help me to be a virtuos woman...God bless u pastor!!!

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  11. OMG!!..I love!...

    I pray for God's grace..for his will over our lives.

    and yes!..it is highly important to define the rules.

    Thanks One

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  12. Aww this is so cute! They are so cute! I love this and them! And his parents were so wise to tear up his list. Seriously? A list of 10 girls? And you ask your parents to pick? No mehn you aint ready lol. So he let go and let God. Nice nice. We all need to learn to do that. Good job on the interview One. God bless you

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  13. awwww, I enjoyed reading this! Thanks for sharing Miss.

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  14. God bless you Pastor Leke and Titi for choosing to share with us. NO DOUBT, I have been blessed by this and I know many people will still be. THANKS BLOGGER for choosing them for the interview. God bless you abundantly

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  15. Nice!!! Well done aunty Ayo :)

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  16. Lovely interview, he sounded so real and down to earth.

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  17. One thing that struck my attention, He said "she wasn’t initially my type" but he was able to listen to God while waiting patiently, i mean patiently. He waited for her to finish college, nysc, even to start her masters prog. wow. kuddos sir. So to Young Adults and Singles out there, it's important to Hear from God, she might not be ur type at first, but she might be ur type at last. Word Sir!!!

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  18. @Abiola, I found the interview very humorous as well. Even me I am trying (and praying) to love the art of cooking.. Lord help!
    @Inyamu, Thanks hun xx
    @Ayo, I'm glad it does! May your marriage be beautiful in Jesus name.
    @Sabba, hahaha.. One can get tired of eba oh!
    @Mesoma, thanks dear xx
    @Kemmy, Welcome! Great to have you stop by.. Thank you so much for your comment. God bles syou xx
    @HF, :-) I'm glad.. Thank God!
    @A.C.E, I know! Who does that!? What is his is mine right? haha.. Yeah, she has very admirable qualities, God bless her
    @Anonymous, Amen!
    @She, thanks hun.. God bless xx
    @Mitchell, I laughed at that part too, like seriously??!
    @Nikkisho, thanks dear :-) xx
    @Anonymous, wowiee! lol
    @Anonymous, thank you very much. Thank God you were blessed
    @dew, Thank you Aunty Dew :-) xx
    @MW, thanks alot! Yes, I really liked that about the interview too
    @Anonymous, that's word right there, she might not be your type at first but trust God, she might just be your (perfect) type at last! Thanks a lot for your comment.

    Thanks everyone.. I really appreciate you stopping by and leaving your comments too! God bless xx

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  19. Mehn!! What got me in this was the bit about the Holy Spirit doing the toasting for him!!! I have been learning more about the Holy Spirit recently and this truly just got me. As a wife, listening to the Holy Spirit's leading on how to talk and relate with my husband has been a new eye opener. But hearing that the Holy Spirit can also help with toasting - amazing! Will let my brothers and my sons (when they are older) know this :)

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  20. Yes oh! I learnt from that too.. The Holy Spirit is our Helper indeed.. We only need to ask xx

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  21. Wow! how have u managed to keep such an educative blog from us and left us to feed on trashy blogs all these years...WOW!!! IM SO MAD AT U! Great job

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  22. Lol.. I have a feeling I know you anonymous! lol
    Thanks a lot.. I am glad you found this educative. Thank God xx

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  23. I luaghed, smiled, aww-ed and chucked at this.

    Thank you so much for this... This is very lovely. Bless God for them!!

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  24. is it believable that I had goosebumps reading this? Maybe it's the sweat + sudden fan mixture...
    But oh the realness of this post!

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  25. Thank you very much Tomi xx
    Lol.. HD.. It was possibly the realness of the post? :-) xx

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  26. Oh my days!!!Where have i been all these years and i didn't know such an awesome blog exists,wow good job you are doing here!.The interview was so real and fun to read.Good job once again,but i can't seem to find the share button,i would love to let more people know about this awesome blog.

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  27. Awww, thank you very much Ibisola! Welcome to the blog! Thank God for everything! I think I need to work on the share button feature as people have asked also - thanks for pointing it out. You can also like our page on Facebook (www.facebook.com/1plustheone) - all posts are shared there xx

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